Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
