I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you never un-have a 4some
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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