so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize
