i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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