I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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