i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
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"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.