im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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