We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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