Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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