Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
