I can text with my tongue
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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