Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
