Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize