dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
