whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
