Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
