So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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