Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
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Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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