Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
