we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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