If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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