HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
