Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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