apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
PS: I just woke up from my shower
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
