Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize