Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pants are for mortals
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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