maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
