Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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