Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize