you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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