I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...