you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
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Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
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I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.