I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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