he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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