my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
operation have a gay friend backfired
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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