just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
