I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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