Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
