he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
