I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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