i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
