seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
