he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
