In the future we'll all be gay
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
