Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
