Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
