i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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