Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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