The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.