She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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