Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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