hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There r osticjed everywhere
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
