Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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