Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
