And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
