I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
