this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Panties = found
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
