I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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