She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
