I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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